Premeditated
by peiot
Summary: Green Arrow decides to jump the game. Wally is unnerved. Implied Wall/Art


Previously, Wally had always regarded the Batman to be the most intimidating Justice League member, until a few months after Artemis had joined the team.

It had been a particularly trying mission, and although they had succeeded in retrieving the stolen Wayne technology, it hadn't been without several bumps and bruises, not to mention wounded egos and short tempers.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said, Bay Watch, you have two left feet!"

Wally let an exasperated breath hiss from between his teeth. He _hated_ that nickname with a burning passion. It ticked him off even more than "Flash Boy."

Artemis popped one hand on her hip dramatically, glaring him down.

"How else do you explain how you are able to crash into every single stationary object around you? Just look at you, you're a mess!" she retorted, throwing out her arm to gesture at his black eye and bloody nose.

"You weren't so hot with your exploding arrows either, Blondie! Way to set an entire floor of Wayne Enterprises on fire!"

"God, just make out already, I'm so done listening to you love bicker," snapped a cranky Robin, who was scampering towards the zeta tubes (with a slight limp, Wally noted with a tad of surprise.)

"_Recognized,__Robin,__B01__"_

"Dude!" Wally complained, before doing a double take, "Where are you going?"

Robin muttered something inarticulate under his breath, before shouting back at them as his molecules began to dissipate.

"Dynamic duo thing!"

Wally thought he caught a meaningful glance before his friend had disappeared and he inwardly chuckled at his friend's plight. Richard Grayson had some 'splaining to do.

"Screw it, I'm outta here," Artemis muttered darkly as she stormed off to the showers.

"Careful washing your NUMEROUS SELF-INFLICTED BURNS!" Wally called hotly after her, taking sick pleasure in seeing her frame tense with rage.

His cheap thrill however was interrupted by a masculine throat-clearing directly behind him. He wheeled around to find himself faced with Green Arrow, arms crossed, face blank.

Wally felt a sting of regret that he hadn't kept that last remark to himself.

"Uh, hi, G.A.?" he blanched uncertainly. Why was Green Arrow at the cave anyway?

The blond huntsman merely observed Wally for a second, taking in his wounded face, scuffed up suit, and awkward stance, before starting up on a totally unexpected topic.

"You know, it's really a coincidence that she's named Artemis," the older man drawled, dangerously calm, "Like the Greek goddess."

Wally had enough wits about him to realize now was not a good time to start complaining about the absurdity of mythology and how had it stunted early science.

"Um, yes?" he croaked, the end of his word curling like a question.

Green Arrow's face didn't waver.

"She the female Greek goddess of archery. And here our Artemis does archery."

"Riiighttt…"

Wally didn't know what to think of the "our Artemis" bit, but decided the best course of action was to politely wait for Green Arrow to get to the point.

"But Artemis was also goddess of lots of other things. Like the hunt, the night, baby animals," here, Green Arrow paused for dramatic effect. Wally tensed.

"And virginity," he all but growled, taking a step forward to glower down upon the redhead's paralyzed body.

Wally's eyes widened, his throat tensed, and ice cold fear filled his limbs as he processed Green Arrow's underlying meaning.

_He…thinks…I - me and Artemis, OH HOLY MOTHER OF –_

Wally was speechless. It was all he could do to look up at Green Arrow's terrifyingly stoic face and not bolt.

"Are. We. Clear?" the blond hero murmured slowly, venom dripping from his every word.

Wally nodded mutely, inching backwards in a primal reflex to flee. Green Arrow pulled back, still grimly staring. Without hesitation, the fastest boy alive, heedless of his previous exhaustion, turned tail and escaped the scene.

The Flash sauntered out of the Cave's kitchen, one of his nephew's candy bars in hand.

"What's up?" he asked between bites, cocking his head to the side to observe Green Arrow, still looking after the yellow blur.

"Helping myself sleep at night," he mused, more to himself than his fellow Justice League member.

Heart still pounding in his ears, Wally skidded to a stop at the end of the hallway to rub his bruises and cower in a corner. His stomach growled loudly, but there was no way he was going anywhere near the common area until he was good and sure Green Arrow had left.

"What _are_ you doing?" groaned a familiar raspy voice. Wally whirled around to see a startling sight. Water dripping down her wild mane, clad only in a towel, stood a freshly showered Artemis, glaring daggers at him.

"Wa-ah!" he shrieked in a not-so-manly tone, scurrying a few feet backward, "Get away from me! In that!"

"Wh-what?" Artemis looked genuinely bewildered.

"WE'RE NOT TOGETHER!"

"…Wally, I think you've finally lost it."

* * *

><p>My first, horribly pathetic attempt at a humorous one shot. Hope at least you could laugh at my failings, heh. Was Wally OOC? He might have been OOC…<p>

And I know, I know, Green Arrow is obviously not her real uncle, but I still like to think he cares about her!

Please review? It only takes a few seconds of your time! ;)


End file.
